Let's eat together

There has been some pressure by one of my other flatmates recently to occasionally cook together. Now I'm not completely against the idea, I mean, it could save some money, and I could learn a few new ideas in the kitchen. But I'll be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared because my flatmate isn't clean. I'm scared because my flatmate never, ever washes her hands before preparing food. I'm scared because she drops kitchen utensils on the floor, and then put them back into what she is cooking. I'm scared because she is a re-dipper - she will dip with a spoon, put the whole thing in her mouth, and the dip again, even when the food is not just for her). I'm scared because she cuts up meat and then vegetables with the same knife, in that order, often when the vegetables are not being cooked. For the time being I've managed to postphone the idea of communal cooking, but unfortunately the idea is still circulating. I'll have to cull it off once and for all.

Where is the remote?

I'm not much a of a television watcher - there are rarely many things on that I like to watch, but I don't mind sitting down to watch the news to keep up on current events.. So when I sat down last week to watch the news I started by looking for the remote control. Ususally it's either somewhere near the television or the couch, but a brief scan of the area failed to bring any results. It wasn't on the coffee table nor behind the couch. Ok, well I'm just going to have to pull this couch apart. Despite finding 2.55 in coins, half a packet of stale corn chips and a bunch of toe nail clippings, I was unsuccessful in finding the remote. Where the FUCK could it be? In the end I just gave up and resorted to the old fashion way and turned the television on by hand and found the right channel.

We have been remoteless for the past week until this morning. Magically the remote control had reappeared on the coffee table when I walked into the lounge room this morning. Before I left the house, I asked my flatmate where it had been, and apparently she had found it under a pile of papers in her room while resorting study notes.

Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off is that she lost the remote control to the shared television in her room for a week.

Mouldy cheese

So I'm in the kitchen while my flatmate is preparing some food for herself.. As I was reaching for a glass I noticed there was some stuff on her cheese she was grating. "Hey, what's that? Is that mould?" "Yeah, of course it is, cheese is suppose to have mould on it" she replied in a ever so knowing way while wobbling her head. "Yes, some cheese do, but not cheddar, right? I don't think that mould there has been cultured in a cheese factory". But there was no point arguing with her. Besides, she could do with some more protein in her diet, even if it was coated on large qualtities of fat. And hopefully it would make her sick.

Three things

1. I came home to find the front door wide open and my flat mate in her room.
2. The house still smells of my flatmate's feet (perhaps this is why the door was wide open?)
3. Still hadn't cleaned up her shit from the weekend.

Untidiness is not a virtue

After coming home from a long weekend of outdoor activities the last thing you want to have to deal with is a mess. As we were approaching the front door, my partner whispered to me, "Oh, she's home... I can smell her." At first I just laughed, but upon opening the door my flatmate's "special" fragrance hit me, and it was clear that indeed she was home. This was confirmed almost immediately by sight when I entered the lounge room. Her shit was sprawled liberaly throughout the room, evenly distributed over the floor, table and counters. Amoungst the calamity I spotted her eating crisps on the couch, while watching TV. I casually asked, "Doing a stock take are we? Anything missing?" to which she replied "Oh, yeah sorry about the mess, I'll clean it up soon". 'Yeah, fuckin' oath you will clean it up soon. How about right now?' I thought.

Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off is she thinks it's perfectly fine to deposit her entire worldly possessions throughout the common areas of the house.