Wednesday, February 22, 2006

PV=nRT, dickhead.


Albert Einstein is regarded widely as a genius. I never met the man, and cannot say for sure whether or not he was, in fact, a genius.

One thing I do know for sure about Einstein: he is famous for is inventing the refrigerator. He and one of his students, Leó Szilárd, were awarded a US patent in 1930. The genius behind this version of the 'fridge is that it has no moving parts.

Some would say that Einstein's genius lay in the way he could understand something quite abstract (like, say: thermodynamics) and express it in a very simple way. The Einstein refrigerator requires no pump. You open the door, put in or pull out the comestibles you require and then close the door. It is so simple. Just like E=mc2. Even a quailtard can understand it.

This afternoon I went into the kitchen and discovered that the 'fridge door was open. It looked closed, that is true, but I could see the telltale glow of the internal light escaping around the seal. Clear proof that the last person to use it has absolutely no regard for all the hard work of Leó and Albert, someone who scoffs at the first law of thermodynamics. Or perhaps the deliberate work of some adiabatic saboteur.

Now this is a terrible thing. Obviously some people are irreversibly stupid and careless. Some people may not have the best hand eye co-ordination. Some people just don't give a shit. Wherever I roam across this globe I find people of such insoluble and concentrated idiocy and simple-mindedness that I sincerely pray for some mild apocalypse. A bit of chlorine in the gene pool. But not closing a 'fridge door? Seriously... the central heating was on. I could hear the ghost of Lord Kelvin boyling with rage.

The thing is, a 'fridge is a very large white object. It is present in most kitchens in the civilised western hemisphere. People are familiar with them. What aggravates me is that most people have no fucking clue how they work, therefore no idea why you plug them into the fucking wall, therefore, no real idea how much electricity they use, or how hard it is for the ammonia phase-change to physically pump heat out of the fridge. Therefore, how important it is to make sure the fucking door is shut. For Christ's sake, I used to own a dog that could open the door, steal my gourmet sausages and close the bloody door again. He left the door open the first time, and received a flogging. Rather than cease his culinary kleptomania he just shut the door from then on. Good dog.

Today's reason I am infuriated by one of the retards I live with: Such intellectual luminaries as Nicolas Léonard Sadi Carnot laboured for years to understand thermodynamics so we could have fridges. Einstein himself invented an ingenious refrigerator. Scientists have provided us with the gift of cool. The world is gradually heating up killing all the fucking dolphins and polar bears and whatever just so we can keep our milk at 4 degrees Celsius and some stupid FUCKTARD with less brains than a German Shepard LEAVES THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN!