Losing one's keys
Last night at 1am I was woken by the door bell ringing, and was greeted by my flatmate apologising because she claimed to have lost her keys, again..
Before I left this morning, my flatmate asked to borrow my keys so she could get a new set cut, and casually mentioned that hopefully someone will return her keys because she had her name and address on the keyring. "Are you serious?" I said disbelievingly. "Yes, after loosing them last time, I thought it would be better if anyone who found them had enough information to return them". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Her stupidity is just to great for me to tolerate. "So, you know now that someone might have the keys to our apartment, and know where our apartment is... right?". "I guess so". "Do you think that might be a problem?". "Umm, maybe..". Oh dear, this bitch has no idea where I'm going with this. "OK, you're staying here today. You will not leave this house. I will put a new lock on the door."
Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off is she lost her keys which had her name and address on them, and didn't understand this was a problem.
posted at 14:11
66 Comments:
Wohoo! First comment of the day....
Ahhh, another act of stupidity illustrated by your flatmate... I'm sure had she thought about it, she would have found it easier to tie the keys to a bit of string to the postbox.. that way she'll never lose them as they will have never left the house!
She might have also suggested if you just got rid the locks then this problem would instantly be solved.
I spose the ultimate answer is to lock her door to her room from the outside, then only allow her access via a window - Im sure this wont cause you any second thoughts - esp if you in a flat on a high floor!
Laters Dude
You cannot be serious!
Oh my goodness! How dumb can she get? Seriously, these kind of people should be thrown out of the house. Why don't you try that? *laugh laugh*
The only Reason that I can think of that would keep you from kicking her 'Can-to-the-Curb', would be that she must be Super Hot.
Either that, or you LOVE this blog and Us readers sooo much that you are sticking with this CrAzY BiZnItCh for OUR benefit.
If you dont have a lock for your bedroom...
now would be the time.
Ghost Notes
I like you and I like your flatmate too. But I think the title to this should be losing..not loosing :)
You have to kill her.
Yeah, I know it seems to be the compassionate, polite, and civil thing to do is to let her live- so that she can grow into a worthwhile human- being, with hopes and dreams, and habits that don't suck... but it's not going to happen. The poor person has a form of retardation that is encouraged, in some way, by our society, but must be stopped with a frying-pan to the head. And I say that as a pacifist.
(Or, let her live, and watch your lfe your life slide down the tubes, as Radiohead play in the background.)
Jah love.
Ok! Your flatmate has gone from being brutally annoying and inconsiderate to putting your safety in jeopardy. I say it's time to broom her ass and get a new flatmate!
Our problem roommates were secretly twins at birth. Mine has pulled nearly all the same stunts you talk about. She doesn't really understand this concept we call "courtesy" either. Your blog helps me keep my sanity. You have all my sympathy.
Hey,
Nice one this,
2 questions i hope you answer me.
1. What happens to this blog once ur flatmate moves out?
2. Does ur flatmate know bout this blog?
Anyways i see the humour in ur situation(s). U and all the people readin this, check this if you get the time.
take cares.
That is so very sad. Makes me want to flick her in the ear.
wow.... just wow.....
Fantastic! It's insane, but soooo funny. Made me laugh out loud.
lossofreason.blogspot.com
My dear flatmate -
Who was it that left the house unlocked for a week when he was the last one going for the holidays ?
Who is it that keeps picking up strangers from the bar and bringing them home ?
Who is it that throws open-to-all drink all you want parties every month ?
Who is it that I've fallen madly in love with ?
Who is it that I had drunk roommate-sex with last night ?
There's just one answer - YOU YOU YOU @@@@!!!!
Hugs and Kisses,
Your Flatmate.
classic.
Dude she is so stupid, is she a blond or something.
Ok now that's just stupid. Who puts their address on the keys?! She might as well stick up posters on the street saying:
"Hello, My name is [bla] and I would like YOU, yes you, to rob my place. I live at [yadayadayada].
I usually leave the door unlocked, but if it isn't then you can find the key under the door mat.
Looking forward to getting robbed!
[bla]"
http://pwincessdiaries.blogspot.com
Your flatmate is a dumb ass, pure and simple. My roommate has a tendency to go to bed with our front door unlocked. Two weeks ago, a guy we knew knocked on our door and told me to return her pillow. I asked him how did he get it. He said he just walked into our suite and went into her room and got it off her bed. I must have been asleep at this time. When she came back from where ever she was, I told her and she got mad. I started to tell her that she should start locking both doors (hers and the front door) before she leaves instead of carelessly running out somewhere.
Keep your room door locked. That is what I have to do since my roommate is a careless bitch too!
Loved your postings! I can feel your pain as I went through the whole aweful roommate situation. Mine moved out in the middle of the night - so hopefully that gives you some hope!
To all Commenters,
I love you all, even though you're plotting ways to kill me. Although I must warn you that I've alerted the FBI about this site, so in the event of my death ALL of you would be prison bitches in no time :)
Kisses,
Silly silly flatmate.
I once had a roomate who would visit the local "watering hole" every night of the week except Sunday (when it was closed). One night we came home to find her passed out in our garbage pile in the freezing cold with no shoes on (it was -10 degrees F and snowing). So we did the nice thing and drug her into the house and set her in a chair. And then she peed herself. And that was the first time. It was like house training a dog that girl.
Or there was the time she locked her depression medication in her vehicle for a week.
Or the time when she came home drunk and cooked an entire package of my hotdogs in the microwave and left them all there to rot.
Or the time she smoked some bad weed and we convinced her that we were eating her pet rabbit.
Luckily she flunked herself out of pharmacy school, and last I heard she was in rehab.
Just be glad you aren't living with a manic depressive bipolar weed smoking alcoholic.
Wow.
Your flatmate certainly isn't the brightest crayon in the box.
I sympathize. I had a roomie who had just moved in (she was actually a good friend) and didn't have a key. So instead of calling and working something out with me, she sent me an email saying "the door's unlocked," when I wouldn't be home for hours. I had to spend the next 8 hours at work knowing my apartment was unlocked with my laptop just sitting in plain sight to anyone who opened the door.
Oh holy jesus. This transgression is by far the worst.
Get out. Get out of there fast before you come home and you find a guy named Kevin with a hacksawn and bondage gear dangling the missing keys before you.
Goodness! Your predicament with your flatmate sounds truly horrible (can you get rid of her?) but at least it makes for good writing!
Congratulations. We are giving you the honor of having today's top blog! Keep up the good work, and hopefully things will get better with the flatmate (although then who will you be able to write about?)
Sweet Jesus, You let her out. I say if it happens again leave the bitch cold.
For a better blog go to
http://thelastangrymanblog.blogspot.com
Quick! You must put up signs around your flat. ‘Breath in. Breath out. Repeat.’ If you don’t she could die, and then we’d lose this blog.
This problem contains its own solution, doesn't it? Get a set of keys cut and attach a tag with her name and address. Then when you kill her, leave the keys in the door, so you can point out to the cops that someone must have found her keys and come in to rob the place and unfortunately caught her at home.
That said, I hope your next flatmate is as funny as this one!
Oh no! My ruse is in tatters. Someone so monumentally stupid could not possibly be able to read. All is lost. Still you will not have to suffer her much longer.
Kill the bitch.
You've gotta kill her.
I made my family disappear.
i have been faithfully reading your blog every day of the week since i first discovered it last month... however, this is my first comment ever here... great job!
anyway i must say today's post ranks the best amongst all that you have written! best being the stupidest thing your flatmate has ever done so far... there is just no cure for stupidity!!
Once you change the locks, don't give her a new key. Whenever she returns from going out, she'll have to sit outside until you or another flatmate comes along to let her in. That should teach her a lesson fairly quickly.
Doh. Perhaps she should include a map as well, in case the returnee has trouble finding the place?
LOL.
i used to live with someone who would say our door lock combination out loud to her friend... anyone who walks by and hear those 4 digits can enter our home. that's part of the reason why i live alone now.
teach her common sense someone!
can you tell me have she ever been INTELLIGENT before. shes just so dumb!
Have only read this post, but it's enough.
Kill your flatmate and refer to this site as your defence; you'll walk away scot-free.
People like that are a waste of effort/space/air.
You trusted her to stay in while you went for a new lock? You really think she'll do that?
As much as I enjoy reading about your flatmate, I really think it's time to kick her out or move out yourself, whichever is easier. As others have said, she has become dangerous.
Ouch.
The 'losing the keys' part isn't bad (can happen to anyone), but the 'address attached to keys' bit is a gigantic durrrrrrrrr
Haha. For some good reason your flatmate amuses me. How do you keep up with her? Maybe it's not a bad idea to get a chain attached to her keys and to her wrists, right?
Now you really *are* making this up.
One of my flatmates thought it was normal to clear their excrement fromt the loo with the loobrush, and replace sed loobrush without rinsing it! That was a nice suprise when I pulled it out to use, not!
I have 3 questions for you:
1) Why don't you move out? or at least as her to?
2) Does she know that you have this?
3) Is this actually for real?
but whether or not it is, it can be really funny...
You poor thing, I guess your roomate has really hit rock bottom. How could you do something like that and not see the idiotness in it.
your flatmate has inspired me to create a new t-shirt I now have for sale at my online store (deeksdigs)it simply reads:
"you aren't hot enough to be THAT stupid"
please thank her for me, and my condolences to YOU for having to deal with such a knob each and everyday.
The inconsideration of some will always infringe on some or many. It is up to you how to react. You still have options available to you. Keep living with the fool or kick her the hell out. Then change the locks. Good luck to you.
Thats dangerous levels of stupidity there..!
hello?
why do you still live with this woman? Do you have some sort of infatuation with her or are you too poor to move out or hire a hit man?
retaliate in immature ways. It works BELIEVE ME
Wow...amazingly stupid!
I hate my flatmate too... but luckily I only have to live with the bastard for 2 more weeks until he goes to jail...
Ok, so your situation is terrible. But here's, an idea...get this thing called a "newspaper". Grab the phone number for the classifieds and place an ad for a new flatmate. There will have to be at least one applicant who is better than your current flatmate. Or alternatively you put up with your shitty situation and we'll read about "Woman, stabbed to by flatmate!" some day in the news.
Is your life really so sad that you still have to create attention for yourself by making all this shit up?
I don't know what to say...Unbelievable !
Bah! What is wrong with the world today?? People lacking common sense seem to be everywhere. I feel sorry for you, really!
As for the comments about moving out or getting a new roommate?? Renting usually entitles some sort of contract, that is usually bond with a signature and deposit. Breaking the contract usually means losing that deposit. For those of us who can not afford to lose money, putting up with a stupid roommate is the only choice.
I am sure someone has asked this before, but i have looked back through a number of posts and cannot find this referenced.
It seems that everyone agrees that this one room mate of yours is a menace. While i have seen at least one article criticizing your room mates as a whole, mostly we are left to assume that, while they may not be as demanding as you, they are normal enough to know what is good for them. Given this, why dont you just kick this one roomate out and find another person to pay the rent? I am sure in a city or college campus of any size this should be possible and it sounds like anyone, even a stranger would be better than this dumb person you currently live with.
If this doesnt work, why dont you just move out? I mean at some point you would have to figure, unless you are into to some kind of sedomasichism, that the pain of living with this person would overcome the inconvenience of finding a new place.
Damn, I would not be this patient... does this girl have MR? Some people just completley lack all common sense...All though it is really fun to read these condescending article about your flatmate, it would be both more pragmatic and more comfortable for you to either kick her out or move.
:))good post
what next taking an ad in paper to ask the person to return the key, with her pic and also mentionin when u will be at home?
If you were afraid of losing your keys, you'd think you'd just put your mobile number on there.
That girl's stooooopid.
Ben
http://thingsivewritten.blogspot.com
Hmmm.... How stupid can she b? hahahahaha...
Sumtimes i think she need helps!!! I mean, is she crazee or wut? I dun know how u keep up wif ur flatmates behaviours. Lotsa luck 2 ur future days wif them...
http://fairylicious.blogspot.com
pity u. i used to hav a flatmate like that... onli that it was a HE and not a SHE.
he used to pound the flat door in the wee hours of the morning waking the rest of us up. his reason? "i forgot to take my keys"
initially one of us would get up to open the door for him, but as time went by and we got irritated, we all wore earplugs and left him pounding and yelling until morning! :)
me suggest u do the same, teach her a lesson. ;)
god, i'm evil.
interesting site, btw. :)
You are very mean. She probably has a disability and you have no compassion.
Is she in the software industry?? Recently I too lost the duplicate key. Luckily my roomie had his key and he's now vacating the place. But I have had previous instances of losing keys. Your flatmate and I could go on quite well.he he
Either your roommate is mentally retarded, or she just doesn't know how to define the word 'logic'.
Is she blonde?? hahahaha
sounds like you both need a proper shagging......
My flatmate once locked herself out. She called me to say that she had arranged for the maintenance man to come and break open the lock on the door. This could have easily been remedied if she had got off her lazy arse to take the train up to my office and collected my set of keys! Yes, she had the travelcard to do so as well as she had her purse in possession. The reason she wouldn't come to see me was cos she was conscious of turning up at my office looking like a slob. As she was in her normal, greasy hair just nipping out to the shops sort of look when this happened.
My flatmate once locked herself out. She called me to say that she had arranged for the maintenance man to come and break open the lock on the door. This could have easily been remedied if she had got off her lazy arse to take the train up to my office and collected my set of keys! Yes, she had the travelcard to do so as well as she had her purse in possession. The reason she wouldn't come to see me was cos she was conscious of turning up at my office looking like a slob. As she was in her normal, greasy hair just nipping out to the shops sort of look when this happened.
It should be better to have a extra key. Every roommates should have extra key.
I dont think she should be allowed to have keys, considering the amount of times she has lost them.
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