This isn't clean
Our household has the basic rule - you wash up what you dirty. It works remarkably well, and much better than a rotating roster system which I've used in past households (invariably you get some lazy fuck who waits until there is not a single clean item in house before they washup, or you get some studious fuck who cleans the first 2 plates they see and then claims they've done their fair share). The main problem in our household however is the quality of the cleaning. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't find an allegedly 'clean' glass that has lipstick on the rim and/or greasy hand prints smeared around it, or a plate with caked/baked on food. Cutlery goes back into the drawer with bits of food still stuck to them, and coffee mugs have a suspicious brown ring left in the bottom.
This post goes out to the whole household.
Today's reason my flatmates piss me off;
They are unable to clean plates, glasses and cutlery to a degree where they no longer contain food.
posted at 15:06
43 Comments:
Yuck! How long until your lease is up? I love the pictures, where did you find them?
Get a cat, It will clean your plates spotless like never before ;o)
Bob from the Gallery Blog
LOL, these are some funny pics!!!
I was gonna say get new flat mates, but no one likes to be alone. Besides it seems more interesting than being alone. You can't piss yourself off. Something new to look forward to everyday.
I wish I had written this page when I had a flatmate...
I feel your pain. I have my own blog regarding roommate problems: http://stupidroommate.blogspot.com/ You should find my perils quite interesting...
I love your blog. It is just my kind of dry, tell it like it is, humor.
All the people with their ridiculous comments and advice about how you are the one that needs help, really miss the point. It is so clear that writing about these frustrating situations is a cathartic experience, meant to help you cope with less than ideal flatmates.
Congratulations on being a Blog of Note. If people don't like it they should go read something else. I, for one, am going to bookmark your blog.
I love your blog. It is just my kind of dry, tell it like it is, humor.
All the people with their ridiculous comments and advice about how you are the one that needs help, really miss the point. It is so clear that writing about these frustrating situations is a cathartic experience, meant to help you cope with less than ideal flatmates.
Congratulations on being a Blog of Note. If people don't like it they should go read something else. I, for one, am going to bookmark your blog.
I can't think of anything you could do right now to get back at her for not fully washing dishes. But, one thing you might try with the shower, is to put the candy POP ROCKS in the shower head before she goes to take a shower, it would scare the crap out of her! Just a thought!
How did this blog gain notoriety? What you are complaining about seems pretty lame. Why don't you just get your own place. You sound like a very unreasonable flatmate. I would absolutley hate to live with you. Maybe if you spent your time doing something else besides complaining you might be better off. Perhaps you could complain about something else, besides your flatmate. The circumstances you are complaining about aren't even events that really hold any weight. I've had some bad flatmates. With the events that you are bitching about here you couldn't handle one night in a place with a truly bad flatmate.
Maybe you need to go see a doctor and get some medicine to balance out your O.C.D. You probably just need to get out of your house and get laid. Your flatmate probably thinks that you are a real bitch. I don't think I would let you stay in my house for more than one night with your shitty attitude. If you want to read a story about some bad "flatmates" go to my blog and read "The Roommate Dream Team" and "Sweet Potato Pie". They are under the October Archives at the bottom of the page. You need some more real experiences before you can really do too much complaining. Your flatmate probably doesn't shit on the FLOOR in your bathroom, or wake up in the middle of the night when you have people over, piss on your patio furniture and themselves then go to sleep on their bed afterwards without changing their pants. Dirty glasses and singing is lame as hell. I can't believe I wasted my time even checking this out or posting on this blog.
peace
jake
Geeez Jake, everyone deserves to have an outlet of some kind. If you'd even bothered reading through more of this you'd have noticed it's being written by a male. And you have the gall to end your comment with "peace" ?? How odd.
I love this blog. And misery loves company.
I lived in a townhouse with 3 flatmates at university and one of them came up with this chore rotation plan where each of the 4 of us would have 1 chore for the whole week, and she (the one who wanted the chores done) would leave custard dishes of peanut butter in the sink with water (I guess so it wouldn't dry caked on) which, by the way, is nasty. Let me just say, I feel your pain. Dirty dishes are not only disgusting, but also completely unsanitary--you're lucky you don't all have the flu right now! Needless to say, we replaced her (and her chore chart) the next year.
So, how long til your lease runs out?
Cheers!
Original, novel...yet honest. Brava. Keep them commin.
Great page... Even Better pics... where do you find them? I think I want to start an Identical site about the people I work with... Technotards: The dangers of working in the Tech field.
Well, life's a bitch!
Your blog is a source of constant entertainment to me! You rock! I have to know - where do you get those great, funny pics?
So these are what your problems consist of? It's interesting to me what can keep certain people up at night tossing and turning.
Flatmates? In the plural? I thought you only had one.
JUST ONE QUESTION? ARE YOU A GUY OR A GIRL? SOME PEOPLE HAVE CALLED YOU GIRL AND OTHERS GUY. WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
This is FRICKIN hilarious!! I read up on the previous posts and it COMPLETELY DESCRIBES my past experiences living with housemates on several different occasions!!! Dirty dishes? Oh yeah! Front door unlocked? Sure, walk right in stranger! Long showers? Gotta make sure that I shower first!!!
Looking forward to more posts....You rule!!!!!!
As a mother, I have thoroughly enjoyed your complaints. Just wait until you have kids. It will be deja vu all over again! Consider this experience as training for parenthood.
Sadly...I had a roommate when i lived in california that did that. he was a 525lb truck driver. And my fiancees best friend. We have all broken up within the 6 months he lived with us. Imagine cleaning up after three other people like that...He put an inch of dish soap in the bottom of a glass. Proclaimed it clean. Let it sit two days, then offered me a drink with the soap still in it, and greasy on the outside. I moved out. I feel your pain.
Next times she's in the kitchen washing the dishes, pick up a "clean" plate and lick it clean. Then go, "There. That's better."
But I think you're all talk, no action.
My friend/roommate sent me an email about 'how to freak out your roommate'; I can't remember them all but one of them was something about getting 3 potatoes, lining them up, and naming one after your roommate (or flatmate), and then after 2 days take it, boil it in a pot and then eat it (in front of her of course)...you can even offer her some too! lol...if I find the email I'll let you in on the other stuff you can do as well. I think a little scare might help you to get her to actually do things right- for a while at least.
Later!
hey i so agree with you.my roomies drive me crazy they dirty all the dishes and then continue eating in them.i get tired of asking them to clean up.in the end i clean up fearing they will die soon of some disease.
(cont'd from last comment I posted) I found it! Here it is:
"Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names.
Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato
from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's
potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, 'He just didn't
belong.' "
I haven't actually tried this on my roommate because I'm luckier than you- she's my friend and a lot of fun. Anyways, for more check out my blog.
I feel for you. Your flatmate is a disgusting, socially inept and self absorbed trick bitch.
I've been reading some of the responses you receive. I'm here to tell you that ANYONE who comments that you're unreasonable is just as trifling with their own housekeeping habits and inability to be considerate as your flatmate. As the saying goes "if you don't know a fake bitch YOU ARE a fake bitch".
And forget listening to these fools trying to quantify your 'bad' with their bad. Bad is bad. There's no scale, no unit of measure, no test to which you are supposed to 'qualify your suffering' in order to be able to complain about something or someone. And anyone who would tell you that there is full of shit. Tell them to take their antagonistic, arbitrary asshole assessment and sell that shit somewhere else.
She's lucky she lives with you. When I had roommates if any of those bitches would leave shit out one of two things would happen: I'd either throw that shit the fuck away or I would throw that shit the fuck away. They got the picture real quick. And those bathroom habits are an easy fix: Put a lock that only YOU and your other flatmates have a key to on that door. Until she learns the rules that bitch can use the facilities somewhere else.
Some people don't deserve the kid glove treatment. You need to kick them straight in the ass for them to get the point. And don't use the round tip shoe. Use the boot with the pointed steel tip. If anything's worth doing it's worth doing right.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
And the sequel,
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
Book Recommendations:
He died with a Falafel in his hand.
(also made into a movie)
and it's sequel:
The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco.
by John Birmingham.
why dont you simply have a set of your own forks.spoons.plates.etc. keep them to yourself! this way,you need not bother about your flatmate! they can use dirty stuffs for all you care eh? =))
ah HA! i have BROKEN YOUR ANONYMITY! I know who you are!!
you are me.
i claim my £5.
I have a nasty flatmate too. My flatmate cooks food without a shirt on, manhandles raw meet, then wipes his hands on the clean dish towel without washing his hands at all. He taps and touches every surface with salmanilla. He picks his nose - both nostrils - and his butt hole while cooking, in the kitchen, without ever once washing his hands of salmanilla and human detritus. My flatmate never takes out the garbage, or cleans the counters or empties the dishwasher or cleans the stove in which he burned grease to the top of the grills encasing the stove in a crust of fat. I clean twice a day and another flatmate does as well just to keep up with him. He showers only once a week and has argued that dirt is actually good for us. He also refuses to purchase any cleaning equipment or materials that we use to clean after him and yesterday my we found a bloody booger on the handle to the silverware. When will he give himself E-Coli so it can end?
I have a set of black dishes for 4, and a set of white dishes for 4; together they equal a beautiful table setting that cost $30.00. About a month after we move in, my roomate informs me that she loves my black dishware and intends on getting a set when she "gets her own place". I had to inquire why..
She loves them because she can leave tea sitting in the mugs for "days" and it doesn't stain!
Retard- the stain is there, but you can't see it. That's why milk in those mugs tasted funny..
New rule: no using my black mugs for your tea/ coffee.
I moved in with a sweet seeming couple.. who have revealed themselves to be anally retentive to the core- I have to have my own loo roll, clean the shower every day (because they don't like my soap), turn the taps in a particular manner (seriously),never leave water in the kettle to name but a few rules...I decided to move out when it turned out I had used the incorrect tupperware to put my lunch in because that was 'microwave' tupperware! Coming home everyday to find my flatmate saying "Miss X you need to (fill in telling off here)" is not fun.
you sad moaning pathetic case for a human being be like me i to have a dirty flatmate but as the saying goes one mans clean is another mans filth just clean it youself or live on your own but hey that's more cost
I could also probably safely say he has never been at university in a shared house or other such situation yet.
Cutlery goes back into the drawer with bits of food still stuck to them, and coffee mugs have a suspicious brown ring left in the bottom.
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