Don't sing to me
Quite regularly my flatmate will come to me completely randomly and ask me if I know a song. Because her taste in music does not at all correlate with mine, I invaribly never know the name of the song to which she will start singing the song to me, in the hope that it will jog my memory and miraculously I'll remember it (she doesn't understand that when I say I don't know it, I really don't know it). The saddest part about this isn't that I have to sit there listening to her sing, it's that she has a terrible voice. And even if I say I know the song, hoping it will prevent her singing, she will still sing it. I can't win...
Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off;
She has a terrible voice and repeatedly comes to me to sing.
posted at 11:42
48 Comments:
Ok! forgive me but I have to ask. Have you and your flat mate ever dated? You two sound like a ex's gone wild!
are there any nice things about her?
i wonder if dwelling on the bad things doesnt simply make YOU suffer more. She has no idea that you think about this so much. Of course I understand annoying flatmates, having had one that was obcenely dirty and jealous, but in the end I was the only one paying for getting annoyed. She didn't give a rats ass.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Blog on!
Why don't you duct tape her mouth shut! It works all the time.
PS- Stop calling it a "flatmate" call it a roommate, it makes much more sense!
Have a friend write a note and leave it taped to your front door about how their poor animals are suffering because of the singing atrocities coming from your place!
Best of luck and hopefully your dreams won't be haunted!
i love your corresponding pics. where did you get these and how did you customize? they're brilliant!
This is the funniest blog I've ever read. It reminds of one of my friends in college whose roommate used to loan his stuff out. I remember there was something he needed for class so he called up to his roommate to ask him to throw it down. He couldn't because he'd loaned it out. In the middle of the commons you see my friend say "Do me a favor. DON'T LOAN OUT MY SHIT ANYMORE!" Good luck and thanks for the great reads.
Don't be too hard on the poor girl. If it wasn't for people with horrible voices like me (and her?) those other highly-paid entertainers wouldn't sound half as nice.
Some tunes are just catchy, have to sing sometimes...
I usually just get mine out in the car.
Did you ever consider doing some covert operations of your own? Maybe becoming as annoying to her as she is to you?
Omg,I love your blog! It's so funny and entertaining! I's so sad I get so much amusment out of you hating you flatmate.
Hi! It's ironic I am enjoying your posts even if they are bad things about your flatmate. But I guess it's because I can relate to your problems. When my flatmates and I feel like singing, we actually rent a karaoke room. When someone at home starts singing out loud (none of us has a good voice) I stare at her and she evetually realizes the truth. Haha. Just kidding. Just let her know you hate her voice. Hard to do though, so never mind my advice.
i would not wonder if you will soon plan a plot to kill her and execute it.
I don't know anytihng about your flatmate, but you're a funny guy. Keep up the good work.
"Full access to the blog history will be availble when I move out"
Don't move out yet!!!! I'm not bored with your stories yet... :)
Happy Valentine for both of you.... :) For better or worse... ;)
I am absolutley sure you are now living with one of my old flatmates! ....7 years on and I still can`t believe the things she did (and didn`t do).
I've been reading your page for a few days, and after this post, I truly identify with you. My roommate last year would sing. All the time. Especially when I was trying to study. And he had a very grating voice. Ugh.
- Justin
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Word is that u are still sharing your flat with your deadly-singer-flatmate just to blog and guess you are a whino-maniac!! If you are seriously looking to end all this, why dont you kick her out or find a new flat for urself...?
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Crazed Bush Hating Democrat - I agree with you about hating Bush, but not the flatmate roommate thing. They don't actually share a room (I don't think), so they aren't roommates. They share an apartment, or a flat in England, which is where this person obviously lives. Think about how stupid apartmentmate would sound.
I had a flatmate once who used to sing as well. She had a good voice so that wasn't so bad. The thing that pissed me off is that she used to sing ALL DAY. It'll be like 2am and I'm trying to get some sleep and she'd be singing. Anyways, she moved out a month ago (THANK GOD!). The same thing with the locking-the-door thing; and that was a problem i had with 4 flatmates (it's a big flat)!
Why don't you either (a) Kick her out (b) Move out or (c) Be equally annoying! Talking to her just won't cut it- I tried it..NEVER works.
Good luck mate!
Your flat-mate must be - SHOCK HORROR - My flat-mate! Is her name Mary, is she hairy, and does she do really annoying poncey shit involving "em"s and "eough"s and all that crap? My god, I'll have to investigate.
MOVE OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE....oh wait - all artists need bad influence...I mean inspiration from bad things...kill, kill...i mean, argh. I couldn't take it - I moved out. MOVE OUT!
LMAO!!!!
Your blog is awesome!!!
What a way to get out your frustrations. i know, since I shared an apartment (flat) here in the states with a friend of mine. It only lasted 3 months, I had to kick his ass out!
Great blog - I'll be back!
I've heard lots of suggestions to your dilemma. But honestly, am I the only one with this advice?
"GET A NEW FLATMATE!!!"
Trying fisting your flatmate's face with a frying pan, or fist. That's my honest advice.
Tell your flatmate she has an incredible singing voice, then buy her a one-way ticket to the U.S. so she can try out for American Idol.
Funny as hell!!!!
http://citydoll.blogspot.com/
Check it out!
Is all of this cathartic? I just started a blog where I can go on about all the things I can't stand in my life (I like your discipline - maybe I hsould do one a day), and I find that it really helps me put things in perspective. Hope you can find some perspective, too - but you're certainly entitled to vent your frustrations - it's one of the priveleges of the human race!
When I first saw this blog I thought it was from a jerk husband complaining about his flat chested wife.
These are the things you encounter when you marry someone because the sex is good or because you want some poor sucker to live off of to get out of your parents house.
Crumbs in the butter have caused millions of divorces.
What are you going to do when the kids get into the fridge and stick their fingers in all the food after a day playing on the ground and not washing their hands after using the toilet?
See, this entry makes me think this is maybe real. The writer would have to know that her singing would engender sympathy (for her). Though bad singing can truly be annoying. It's like Pat from Saturday Night Live. I just can't figure it out. And I never will.
tanalee.blogspot.com
I wonder what my flatmate thought about me all those times we lived together???
*The ex-flatmate*
i feel like my roommate and me used to be good friends and now we have come full circle back to roommates and everything she does just pisses me off to the fullest. first lemme tell you she is 5'4 and maybe not even 110 pounds. and guess what she talks about all the time? her weight and how fat she is. she is constantly looking of ways to lose weight because she thinks she is fat. why do people who can eat anything, and will probably never have a weight problem constantly think they are fat? my roommate chews with her mouth open and eats with the fridge open late at night. she makes this chewing sound like a little guinea pig. its quite gross. and coincidently she can't sing either. she has this small high pitched voice and sings everything off key. but the worst is that she thinks she can sing. i miss my friend and hate my roommate. its true-friends cant become roommates. it ends in total disaster. good luck to yah!
you are so funny I just read this today, I undestand more than you think , I loose my mind when I can stand somebody , from chile with love....
Why would you want her to move out? Or you move out? What? And end all this fun? oh no no.........that wouldn"t work at all! No, don't let that happen, then this blog would come to an end and then where would we be? I say BLOG on, train the monkey to do more obnoxious tricks and keep posting! At least wait till we've tired of this.....when Americal Idol, Real World, Fear Factor, and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance' stop getting ratings, you might want to think about selling this to a publisher, so that anyone who hasn't read it can PAY to read it. Cash in and out.....and give her NOTHING but a copy of the book with some raspberry jam and margerine smeared on the inside copy where you have properly signed it and written something smarmy like "To my flatmate......couldn't have done this without you". A copy of the check advanced to you ought to finish her off. The thought of you having sex with her seems a bit far fetched.....she'll claim pillow talk of you promising to share it all with her for more inspiration.....oh wait! I do digress.......besides, how do we know what sex you are? I have a mental pic of a nuerotic little pisser of a (shall I say....MAN) who can't wait for his flatmate to poke it with a stick so he can cry about it online to millions! Good luck babe.....you are awesome! And if you like this pap.....check this out...... allofus2 blog
When I was in treatment at Seattle Veterans Admin Hosp I had room mate that turned into ANAL SCHREAKING Banshee over saucepan left on stove. Saucepan contained water...that was all. He screeched like large hysterical mouse. Spittle flying. You'd have thought there was a massive turd in a washtub of water at full rolling boil on stove. He needed to talk to counselor about issue. Suspect more than heroin addiction.
ok.. why dont you just sing back to her.. as tunelessly as you can?.. do this several times and after chewing on some very potent garlic.......
it will work..
it will.
My flatmate takes my nerves through the roof as well. I started to draw some cartoons, because the things that would happen were outrageous--This actually helped me cope with things more. You begin to look forward to your next episode of complete stupidity.
I think this blog is a great idea.
I think this guy (or is it a girl?) is in love with his "evil" flatmate...
Jeezz.. Just fuck her and get it over with would you *lol*
Swing by my blog for some graphical tips on how to, i bet there's a few things there she would like ;o)
My Gallery Blog
Why do people always think they can sing when they sound so bloody awful?
I dont claim to be able to sing a tune myself, but at least I will admit it. You see it on T.V all the time on show like Star Struck, pop stars, American Idol and Ausralian Idol. I'm not talking about the ones who made it, I'm talking about the ones that have been filmed but never make it past the first rehearsal. They get pissed off with the judges for telling them that they suck at singing. When they really do suck at it. Why dont these people wake up to themselves! anyway, I love your blog and cant wait to read the next instalment on the day in the life of you and your "roomy"! good kuck, sounds like you need heaps of it to put up with all this crap. By the way, she wouldnt be blonde would she? lol :)
You know, what started as amusing is rapidly becoming tiresome. It sounds like you either need to get a new flatmate or get a life.
GOSH. this has to be the funniest blog i've ever read. i just happened to stumble upon it and took a liking to it immediately. keep us updated about your ever so nice roomie.
I think you're sub-consciously utterly and drastically in love with your roommate. There is just no other explanation.
I love your stories.
Keep up the hate. And to all those people complaining, read the title... "Things I HATE about the flatmate".
Perhaps there is another blog somewhere about things people love about their flatmates.
Probably not as interesting to read about how tidy they keep the bathroom, or how the carpets are cleaned each week, or other anal-retentive OCD disorderly ideals that cause them to be "perfect".
Just my opinion.
The fact that you have such a dim-whitted flatmate is clear. Why you still live with such an idiot is unclear. Don't move out though. I live for your pain!
it's spelled 'saddest'
your roommate, perhaps she can spell.
learn to not be so upset by others' actions.
I've had similar situations that go something like this.
Them: Hey, what was the name of that U2 song?
Me: I've no idea? I don't like U2.
Them: One, vertigo?
Me: I just said I've no idea. Why are you listing names out to me?
Always hated that. Even though you make it clear you've no idea, they still reel off a list of things as if magically hearing the words will make you know.
This is the best free intertanment I have ever had. Thank you.
maybe she annoys you on purpose to get back at you for the things she dislikes about you? have you tried to reach a compromise where both will benefit? try it neither of you are unwilling to leave.
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