Sticky Floor
I came home tonight to find the apartment smelling of some kind of cleaning product. This has got to be a good thing! The next thing I noticed was that when I lifted my feet off the floor there was a tacky sticky sensation. On closer inspection I noticed that the entire floor was covered with a waxy cleaning polish. I asked if it was her that 'cleaned' the floor. She proudly admitted to it. I said "You know, when you polish a floor, you have to actually polish off the wax compound, otherwise it's not polished, right?". "Oh tried to do that but it wouldn't come off". I was obviously dealing with a fucking idiot, and there was no point continuing this conversation. "Don't worry, I'll fix the floor", to which she realised that she had fucked up, yet again. She insisted that she help, so I started on one end of the room and she started on another, but with in a matter of several minutes, she screams out loud that she is late and has to leave. She gets up, gets changed and before running out the door she had the insolence to ask me if her shoes looked appropriate with her dress. She stormed out of the apartment only to come back almost immediately to start knocking on the door. I get up off the floor and open the door to find her scrambling for her keys "Oh sorry, I was just checking if I had my keys".
Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off;
She made a complete mess of the floor while thinking she was doing everyone a favour, and then promptly left the house when she realised that it was going to take a serious amount of work to rectify the situation.
posted at 13:05
54 Comments:
What an idiot. I had a roommate once who washed her car with 409 and a brillo pad. Needless to say, it was scratched when she was done.
And you're stuck with her?
OH man. Stay strong.
You know, I'd really love to post a photo of her, but I think it would be intensely cruel, and this blog is intended to be anonymous. However I am considering posting a photo once I have moved out, although I'm not going to commit myself yet.
Hey! Just finished reading all of your archives - bloody good stuff. Love it to shreds.
Have you tried strategically leaving self-help literature (written specifically for, say, fat slobs who suck at life) lying in conspicuous places?
Maybe if you're lucky, you will stumble across a TV documentary or radio talk show devoted to dysfunctional, overgrown babies like her, at which point you could turn it up real loud for the benefit of all!
Or, quite possibly, you could write a "staged" diary wherein you pretend to be headed for an emotional breakdown and your life is crumbling right before your eyes, all because of your having to clean up after this bloated, gluttonous sloth. Your entries would have to be filled with tragedy and heartbreak. Then, maybe she could "accidentally" read the diary and feel crummy about "ruining" your life... because obviously, a direct guilt trip isn't working, so subversion could work.
She sure sounds like she's a mentally retarded cow, though. So maybe all of those subtleties would be lost on her.
I can't profess to know what you really want to do - continue living with this big smudgy blob of blogpost fodder? Actually move out and solve the problem? Or maybe there is no real problem - you can handle it, it's educational? Wherever it is you want this to go, I can only wish you the best of luck.
Cheers,
Fyda
Come on, she was trying to be nice by waxing the floor... at leat credit her for that... too many grudges
omg -"-
what kind of flatmate do u have?
if i were u, i gotta kill her one day
Now why would you tell him to sort it out or move out, that's just totally retarded and would ruin the point of the blog.
instead of posting all your ailments about your flatmate why dont you confront her..
by doing this your hipocracy reflects
its a good thing that she at least is trying to do household choir
how about you?
how can u live with a person lik dat??
Lol, does she know you're posting this??
My first time here. Wow. Great blog! (I'm sorry for your living conditions, but it makes for an interesting read!) Good luck!
Damn, i ber you're surely stressed out totally because of her.
So when are we get to see our lil miss flatmate pic?
Really wanna see how she look like, i bet she got that look. Lol.
Great site, ill be coming for more.
http://its-us-bakeryn.blogspot.com
Eryn
I am assuming your flatmates don;t know about your blog site?
Roommates are a pain and I am glad I am not at that stage anymore. I used to hate it when they left crumbs everywhere.
I'm having a laugh at this, great blogg m8, and keep up! Don't you kicked your flatmate out, i wanna know more! :D
u should have met MY flatmate, honey
God...ur flatmate is such an idiot!!!!! what a deal...
When is your lease up? You need to get out...my roommate drives me nuts and I'm counting down the days until our lease runs out!
I love your blog, but mine is lovelier!
May I ask if you are a male or a female? I am wondering because of the tampon thing, and how in another post you said she was wearing a robe, thank god.
Lovely read about terrible roommate! I bitch about my roomies occasionally on my blog (not as bad as yours!), I think it's a great way to vent without hurting someone, as long as the anonymity remains, that is. You might consider this, although it may have been tried-and-failed, but in our house we had to draw up a chore wheel, and everyone has one chore to complete for the week. Works pretty good. Keeps up from killing each other.
I had a roommate who was really passive aggressive. She's eat all my peanut butter and then lie to me about it.
tanalee.blogspot.com
hahaha! i feel sorry for you...i just ran into ur blogger by accident! its incredebly hilarious, however, if these situations are true, i sugest you to either get the hell out of there or get a new flatmate! GOOD LUCK!!!
Oh God. Poor you. I've never actually had a flatmate I've liked afterthe first few weeks- my last one decided to bring a different guy or girl back every night, and then persisted in having INCREDIBLY loud sex with them. Needless to say, after a year (when the lease ran out)in which I had absolutely no boyfriends because of it, and I grew phobic about going into the kitchen in the morning, I moved out. Last I heard of her, she had Herpes...
And I thought my roomie was just psycho - she has a thing against going dishes and leaves food out. She rarely cleans - her idea of cleaning usually involves a dirty cloth... very sanitary.
The good news is I am leaving in 3 weeks... my own place.
Good luck with yours.
Your blog cracks me up. I think my girlfriend could use the same premise to make a blog of her own. It's good therapy and the perfect way to vent your frustration.
I'm a blogger too and I was wondering if you could give me some pointers on how you get so many hits and comments. Thanks and good luck w/ ur flatmate.
I too had a roomate from hell. My roomates biggest caper was inviting two guys she just met to stay over at our house (they were visiting from across the country and she met them at a tattoo convention). One guy she had a crush on and one guy she didn't. The one she did not have a crush on liked her and the one she liked liked me. So you see the problem. The problem was escalated when their car broke down, and the spurned guy she misled was forced to live with us for MONTHS! She was also petty, backstabbing, compulsively clean, a hypochondriac, and would meet guys online by emailing them a photograph of herself in a bra. She shared that last bit of info with me as if it was a perfectly reasonable and not desperate thing to do. Since that time I have lived alone and you could imagine why. Thanks for the site good luck with that flatmate. Hope you will be able to move as well!
hey, if your roomate pisses you off THAT bad, so bad that you have to make daily posts about it online, just move out! it's not worth the stress of living with someone so stupid and unclean and whatever else, don't deal with it. i have had my share of bad roomates as well, and there was no reason to force myself to keep living there, so i moved out. don't put yourself through something that isn't neccessary!!!
you just love to hate her, dont you? hahaha.. rock on!!
I once snapped at my roommate because he put decaf coffee in the coffee machine.
Great blog, by the way!
I think your blog is one the funniest I've read in a lone time. Sorry about your suffering, but think of the postive, she could inspire you to be a comediane!!
i feel for you. i've just read through all your posts on this flatmate. i don't know how you survive there! is there any possibility of you and your other roommates booting her out??
Holy Crap! What a ditz. my roommate stayed up until 3am talking to people on IM last night. When she asked me if it made me mad I told her, honestly, that "i was a bit peeved but then i was like, "why am I so mad" and i fell back asleep." so then she actually said to me, "if it makes you feel any better it makes me a little mad when your alarm goes off in the morning." how the fuck was that supposed to make me feel better. all that told me was that she's inconvienced that i actually want to made sure i get up on time. i mean i love the dumb blonde i live with but sometimes . . . oh man.
Fuckin' hilarious. I had a roomie who rank of hippie oil and burned insense like it was going out of stock. Crazy lady. Never again will I share a place with some random hippie.
I hope you have the strength. May the force be with you.
Megan
Aww man!
It's sucks to be you. I've read your whole blog and I can totally relate. I've had some pretty crazy roommates in my time too. The only way to truly fix this situation is to live by yourself.
And honestly, I think that your roommate truly just doesn't get it. You and the other roommates should have an intervention...
pfuh!
Here is the solution:
http://timeintelaviv.blogspot.com/Satire/2005/01/restaurant-life-according-to-radio.html
I like you; it's funny when you get mad.
I think that you are just jealous of her...somebody stole your childhood and she is still living hers!
Being busy hating someone is great fun for a while but as it becomes the main ingredient of life, you're going to lose it..
Your life, that is.
Offer your professional cleaning skills to the joint venture of getting the stuff off the floor.
You going to feel mighty good and mighty afterwards!
***
G
mark my words " you love your roommate ". From personal experience...
Can you give us a bit more info on the general living arrangements there? How many people do you share with, and what do your other flatmates have to say about "her"? Perhaps if you all confronted her en masse, it might help. Failing that, I recommend you rent out the film "Shallow Grave" and see if you can get any ideas from that.
When I was a student, me and my friends had a housemate who had the attic room. The bathroom was also up there and we could hear her as she talked to herself in different voices. It would've been quite funny if it hadn't been so terrifying.
Pardon me... but it's YOU that's the asshole in this situation. Your flat mate clearly has some problems... and you ought to be mature enough to try and help her with it, instead of just stepping on her and make her feel even worse.
If there's one of you who're a ROTTEN flat-mate, I think it has to be you. At least you're a VERY rotten flat-mate if you look at it from the perspective of the person you're living with. She kind of looks up to you in some way, I think, and I think she acknowledges that you're right when you point out all her incompleteness. But at the same time you make her life miserable by pointing out all her mistakes and stepping on her all the time.
I think of it like this: Whenever I meet someone who're having problems in their life and in their relations to other people, my task is to HELP them out, and not to make them feel even worse. I'd say, if you have some surplus energry, you should use it to try and lift this flat mate of yours up, and you should NOT use it to knock her even deeper down in the dirt.
In effect you're stepping on her in order to make yourself look better. And that's not something that I admire... I admire when people take portions of their own strength to lift other people up, and not when people step on other people to lift themselves even higher.
Take care,
E
People sometimes make stupid things in life. It’s not happening because we are 80% monkeys, but because we are 60% bananas. learn how to forgive!
You know, I can't fathom why anyone actually reads this debris you are posting. Why don’t you write something consequential, instead of bitching about your wretched pretext of a life? In my judgment, your roommate recognizes what a superficial asshole you are and wishes to be mercifully removed from your life. Given that your mate is not the callous fruitcake you are, to depart and risk hurting your alleged feelings is unimaginable and unthinkable for your well-meaning mate, I conclude. The thing is, you are clearly unhinged and conceivably your roommate doesn’t fancy you to pull a Jeffrey Dahmer move. Just a guess. I stumbled across your blog looking at what bloggers are writing, wondering if these blogs merit appraisal or are even astutely composed. Your blog is equally disastrous on both counts. Its tiresome and dim, just like, uh... you are. God bless your roommate for tolerating your miserable hide. Sign me... someone whose blog surpasses you on my worst days, by far.
This blog rocks! I know how it is having terrible "flatmates." Don't take the people knocking your site as passive agressive too seriously.
Now I remember why I don't have a roommate anymore (I was recently in a lonely rut). All I can say is, hang in there, and get your own place as soon as you can. Sometimes it sucks to be alone all the time, but it's better than putting up with the shit you've been putting up with.
In the meantime, ignore the people who tell you to talk to your flatmate. In my experience, unless you're the parent and they're your child, telling people you live with what to do is a touchy subject. Just do what you have to, vent here (that's obviously what you intended to do), and get out of your lease (or give her the boot) as soon as you can.
i agree with 'tetricus' up there.. don't take some of these people too seriously.. you just need to vent some of that anger/frustration and i'm presuming you're not doing this just to passively aggressively backstab your flatmate.. just from reading this one post i can see that they're not exactly the brightest person out there, and omg do those kind of people drive me mad. i don't understand how you put up with it.. best of luck getting rid of them!
You should tell her not to touch anything.
Draw a line in the middle of your flat, and say "This side is my side, and that side is your side".
Or, you could always ask her if she would like to taste the new Cyanide-flavoured kool-aid.
at least you are not MARRIED to your flatmate... My hubby is just like this poor excuse for a human and is a bigger slob day by day...
then why'd you marry him?
Oh for fuck sake people,
Can you seriously not understand what you are reading here? Can you not pick up on the ever so slight exaggeration of Mr Doe's emotions? Who the fuck hasn't overemphasized something to help get the point across, give it that extra oomph or indeed as we see in this case add to the comical appeal. Sure this John character is not happy about living with this poor excuse for a flatmate. But it's hardly the anal, nitpicking obsession you fuckers are making it out to be. He's not exactly about to go postal on her arse now is he?
So before you sprout more Dr Phil bullshit by regurgitating the monotonous calls of "Have you told her how you feel?" or the truely mundane "Why don't you move out?" or "Kick her out" try and grasp what's going on here.
Fuckers!
Just frickin move dumb butt! Duh!
Maybe it's time to find a new flatmate. I had a roommate once in college. We hardly said anything to each other within the 2.5 years we lived together in that small dorm room. It was weird.
You think your friend is bad?????
Jeez at least she tried to do something!! i have moved in with a good frined who turns out to be the most unhygenic lazy slob i have ever met.
First she has two cats that continually piss and shit and puke all over the house, sometimes she leaves them to ferment for 24 hours before she cleans it up but usually i do it.
they puke on her bed and she doesnt change the sheets straight away, she just exists in her bedroom smoking my cigarettes all day. Come the weekend she is out getting drunk and makes no appereance till sunday night. the house stinks of piss, the only room they dont piss in is mine cos mmy door a is shut continually.
The latest thing she did to piss me off was only yesterday (and its not going into my room and taking 20 cigs i had nor the ten she took earlier in the evening.)
NO this time she made a pizza and took it to her bed with her in the afternoon, she had chucked a sicky earlier cos she was drunk on sunday! Anyway later in the night she must have decided that this pizza was beginning to smell so what did she do? She placed it outside my bedroom door!!!!!
She couldnt even be bothered taking it downstairs to the kitchen let alone putting it in the bin. Anyway i got in last night at 11:30 and there is this pizza there on the floor outside my door!
To make matters worse the scruffy little get then gets up this morning, walks past the plate, goes downstairs leaves for work and leaves the bastard pizza STILL outside my door. anyway i have thrown it on her bed. The house is a disgrace and i am looking elsewhere. Honestly i cant cope and i think i am about to have a breakdown. Pukey Pukey Shit House!!
I am going to assume your roommate isn't a mindreader, or anything like that, so she may not understand that your this upset unless you express that to her personally...
Post a Comment
<< Home