Hide and seek
Today when I went to make lunch, I discovered that the quantity of cutlery, plates and the like in the kitchen cupboards were much lower than usual.. There weren't even many dirty dishes in the sink. So I decided I would go on a hunt for missing kitchen items, first stop my flatmate's room.
She was out so I stuck my head in to see what I could find, and to my amazement there was a pile of plates and glasses stacked precariously on her desk. The sickest thing was the half drunk glass of milk that had now formed a solid consistency, and by the smell of the room, I estimate it had sat there for around 5 to 6 days.
Today's reason my flatmate pisses me off was she decided to horde a stack of dirty plates and glasses in her room.
posted at 01:15
22 Comments:
My dear roommate,
I think I'm falling in love with you. You get pissed off b'coz I put the gross milk in my room, but that was just in response to your last milk entry where you complained about the milk in the kitchen.
And all those dirty plates ? I'm planning on throwing them out and buying special heart-shaped plates and candle holders for us.
Oh btw, did you find those love-notes I left all over the house for you ? Please stop being pissed off at me. It really hurts coz I love you. Love hurts.
Love,
Flatmate you bitch about.
Hey, maybe you could just leave the half drunk milk in her desk. eventually some green stuff will show up. As long as you keep cleaning her mess without complains, she will keep doing it. I mean, was it YOUR glass, with your name on it? Maybe we can start another blog with potencial murder plans. no pressure, just something to think about!
JeN
http://magikcarpet.blogspot.com
Great stuff! Get a publisher on the phone now!
There goes my appetite for milk...
Gross, You have to move! Too much Stress is not healthy. She is going to slowly poison you with stress or food poisoning.
Help yourself and move out before you end up on medication like this!
Since the items were precariously perched, you might have tipped the stack over- onto her keyboard, bed, or into a dresser drawer. I'd have made sure some of the curdled milk made its way into the toe of her favorite pair of shoes. She deserves a case of 'toe-lio.'
Wow - you guyz ? Plz stop plotting my murder ! I'm getting seriously paranoid here !!!!
My not particularly informed opinion is our dear blogger doesn't care to move out. But I would assume if someone chooses to torture themselves so they might maintain their rather popular blog, then so be it, I've heard of stranger things.
I moved out the minute my flatmate and the 'friend' that spent every friggin night over without paying a dime of rent, started drinking all my wine. Every night they were piss drunk(on my dime) and having some type of 'smoke out' fest in her bedroom -- of course, the vent to her room was connected to mine. I hatched a plan to knock them off -- even wrote about it in detail in my blog -- in the end, I moved out... I realized, JEEEZUS CHRIST, I'm plotting to kill these people, I've crossed that indelible line between sane and insanity, it's time to go. Plus, she had a dog I really liked and I couldn't figure out a way to get past the pooch without having to harm the poor thing...
A year later I heard that the flatmate and her 'friend' had broken up -- the flatmate was in the states recouperating, I thought 'if their were two people in this world that deserved a few tacky remarks, it's these two, BUT... ya know I had forgiven. Move out, then start the process of forgiveness.
And if you're out there F----, you know who you are ... seen 'Lara' lately?>;)
I love this site its awesome!!!!
Im getting really pissed off with this site, every damn time I go to blog I just have to see what you have written about your beloved flatmate, and ever damn time I read it, it makes me realise that all this is one big made up heap of shit! BORING! Get a life!
I'd like to suggest you leave or throw out you flat mate... but then this blog would stop... What would I do for laughs? You must continue suffering for the higher purpose of true comedy. You just bring too many people pleasure to be allowed release. In fact perhaps it should be taken to a higher level; You and your flatmate should both go into the Big Brother house so we can watch you suffer live on telly!
Hey, so I posted an essay recently detailing "The New Method." It's about dishes. You should print it out and get your roommate to sign. It's foolproof. This offense, for example, is in violation of rule number 5.
http://betterthanhamlet.blogspot.com
helpfully,
emily
Urgh, I really can imagine how strong the smell in her room was because my brother has left a glass of milk in his room two weeks ago too. Unfortunately it wasn't UHT milk, so I only could enter his room with a breathing mask!
I decided to leave the milk on his desk, so after ten days it changed from milk to cheese...!
So my advice on you: If you haven't got cheese at home, just leave the milk out!
keep writing, Andy
I feel your pain. I lived with someone that was such a slob that they left some food on aplate out in thier room for so long that the meat started to walk again. You have not experienced the worst life has to offer until you have had to clean the toilet of a slob. Good luck.
wow hone
i feel your pain. I, of course, have never had a roomie but I m re-considering my wish for a roomate.
I love ur blog. please keep posting, would love to read more.
visit my blog(even though its new):
http://forgottenhoopes.blogspot.com/
Wonderful, another person that prefers to bitch rather than act. If you took all the energy you spent on this blog and used it to find another flatmate, or possibly used that wasted time to go work more hours, you could either find a new mate or afford to live by yourself. O.K. ,now that I'm done sounding like everyone else. This is not only funny, but typical also. Keep it up. All I ask is that you promise to hand a printed version of this blog to your flatmate on the day you two part ways.
Bitch please, I AM the original roommate who's been posting here since the blog started.
I even started an anti-roommate blog of my own, but becoz i have a life AND i fell in love with my mean-but-HOT roommate, I stopped writing about him :).
Don't anyone else DARE to claim to be me !!!
Okay, the thought of solid milk that is spoiled is enough to freak me out. Have you spoken with her about this? This is really a hazard to you health. I think you should really consider moving out.
In observance of your situation, I will begin compiling a list of pranks that one can play on their roomies.
If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, make them wish they were never born.
Okay, I'm back again. I have something to share with you guys. It's pretty gross! Sometime last semester, my roommate bought some apples in a bag. Well, she leaves them sitting on top of the refrigerator. They have been up there for at least 3 months. Well, about 5 minutes ago, I noticed that she still had them up there. I poked at one of the apples and the apple was so soft that it felt like a ball of air. Then I lifted up the bag and saw some kind of liquid in the bag and mold all over the apples. They are brown and soft. I literally yelled, "ewww!" She isn't here right now. I quickly finished washing dishes and returned to my room.
That is so fuckin' disgusting!!!!!! See, this is why I hate my roommate. She's done this in the past. She'll leave old food in the refrigerator and it'll start to smell. That shit is fuckin' gross. I had to clean it out because her dumb ass wouldn't do it.
I don't understand the bitch. She is so forgetful it's amazing. She is very careless too. She'll leave her door unlocked and the main door unlocked while she goes out for the night. She doesn't understand the concept that it only takes a minute for someone to walk into your room and take something. She's fuckin' absent-minded. I don't get it. God, I can't wait until this semester is over.
And I thought I was the only one having this problem. My flatmate is a pain in the ass too. He's currently out having a beer. He hasn't been out partying or whatever for the last two year's we've been sharing this flat. I wish I'd be kidding. He just comes home, sits down and plays computer games or watches movies all day long. He set his personal record last week: 6 a day. Oh yeah, he's a mess too, I had to fuckin clean his room three times without him noticing. And when I tell him to do something, he is the one telling me, that I'm not doing my stuff...
I think I'm going to start my own blog about this. Too bad I couldn't get rid of him 'til now. But two more weeks, and you're out "dude"!
Hide and Seek" is the first single by Imogen Heap from her album Speak for Yourself. bet basketball The song is performed with the sole accompaniment being the sound produced by a harmonizer (a DigiTech Vocalist Workstation), creating an altered a cappella sound. The song gained popularity and prominence when featured in the hit American television series "The O.C.". sportsbook The song was featured prominently in the second season finale of The O.C.. This was parodied in a 2007 Saturday Night Live Digital Short called The Shooting. In the short, characters cut each other's sentences off by pulling out guns and shooting each other as the refrain plays march madness over their slow-motion deaths. NBC was unable to upload the clip to YouTube immediately after the show because it hadn't cleared the song, but fans uploaded it on their own, naming it "Dear Sister". It became an Internet phenomenon, spawning a number of parodies in which scenes of real and fictional violence are punctuated with the refrain.
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