Sleep is precious
Ok, now this time she went too far.
I was in The Habitat on Sunday night and went to bed. The Flatmate was not in evidence. Good, I thought, probably get to sleep without having to put up with the incessant sounds of her midnight ablutions. Why, for chrissake, at the conclusion of this ritual does one need to bang one's toothbrush against the sink 10 times? It is beyond me. Perhaps its not a toothrush at all. Perhaps its the spoon she uses to load cocaine into her own arsehole, to avoid damage to that perfect septum in that pretty little nose in the middle of that lovely face on the front of her completely empty skull.
I digress. There I was, sleeping. My phone rings. Jesus! I thought. An emergency! It is 3am! Then I see the caller... The Flatmate.
Me: "Hello?"
Flatmate: "Itsh me." Drunk. Of course.
Me: "What the fuck do you want? It's 3 in the fucking morning!"
Flatmate: "I know. Can' oppun door... Fuggen stuck. Come down let me in."
Oh.
My.
God.
Today's reason I hate my Flatmate: She gets too trashed to open a door at 3 am and rings me to come down stairs to open it for her on the day I must travel across the fucking country to get to work by 9am.
I was in The Habitat on Sunday night and went to bed. The Flatmate was not in evidence. Good, I thought, probably get to sleep without having to put up with the incessant sounds of her midnight ablutions. Why, for chrissake, at the conclusion of this ritual does one need to bang one's toothbrush against the sink 10 times? It is beyond me. Perhaps its not a toothrush at all. Perhaps its the spoon she uses to load cocaine into her own arsehole, to avoid damage to that perfect septum in that pretty little nose in the middle of that lovely face on the front of her completely empty skull.
I digress. There I was, sleeping. My phone rings. Jesus! I thought. An emergency! It is 3am! Then I see the caller... The Flatmate.
Me: "Hello?"
Flatmate: "Itsh me." Drunk. Of course.
Me: "What the fuck do you want? It's 3 in the fucking morning!"
Flatmate: "I know. Can' oppun door... Fuggen stuck. Come down let me in."
Oh.
My.
God.
Today's reason I hate my Flatmate: She gets too trashed to open a door at 3 am and rings me to come down stairs to open it for her on the day I must travel across the fucking country to get to work by 9am.
posted at 13:37
5 Comments:
Saw this and thought of you.
Nice to see you back up and running. I'm sorry that you still have a annoying flatemate! I will try and come on as much as I can. I've had those calls from flat mates before, but not so early! The last one I had was 1am and it was to pick them up from town ;)
Fox
just came across your site via Sweety Dahling and I have to say this is the funniest site I have read in so long, had me actually laughing out loud, due to me terrible laugh this is not something that happends often...
just came across your site via Sweety Dahling and I have to say this is the funniest site I have read in so long, had me actually laughing out loud, due to me terrible laugh this is not something that happends often...
I've had those calls from flat mates before, but not so early!
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