She is the Destroyer of Worlds...
I am astonished at my flatmate. She has an almost mystical ability to fuck my life up from a distance. I don't even need to be back at The Habitat to suffer.
It would appear that today she destroyed the hot water system. I can assure you that there was nothing amiss this morning when I had a shower. I was able to draw enough hot water to shave, as is my wont, with a razor. There was no problem.
In the middle of an important data protection meeting this morning my phone went off. I could see it was The Flatmate. I killed the call. After the meeting, while I was on a boring call to a lawyer after the meeting I checked my voicemail:
Steve the Lawyer: "... and so I think that to preserve your position we should issue..."
Me: "uh huh"
Flatmate (in hysteria): "Oh my god, oh my god I don't know what I'm going to do - its terrible..."
Shit. Fuck. Shit-fuck. What has she done?
Steve: "... will of course involve a considerable amount of work, and we should definitely involve counsel..."
Me "I see. How much will that cost?"
Flatmate: "... no hot water ... So I turned the fucking tap off and then turned it on again, and guess what? Still no hot water..."
Me "Fuck"
Steve: "Sorry? *ahem* Well I suppose the fees could be reduced if we used junior counsel, like Wilkinson..."
Flatmate: "... fucking hot water? What am I supposed to do?! My hair is terrible! It's a fucking emergency! You've got to call me! NOW!"
Me: "Stupid fucking bitch."
Steve: "... *cough*.. well, we could use Davis, but he's not much better."
Today's reason I hate my flatmate: The lazy bitch gets out of bed at 10:30, and rings me at work about the hot water, thereby fucking up my office feng shui and putting me in a shitty mood that was only soothed by my leggy PA bringing me a latte and complimenting my tie.
It would appear that today she destroyed the hot water system. I can assure you that there was nothing amiss this morning when I had a shower. I was able to draw enough hot water to shave, as is my wont, with a razor. There was no problem.
In the middle of an important data protection meeting this morning my phone went off. I could see it was The Flatmate. I killed the call. After the meeting, while I was on a boring call to a lawyer after the meeting I checked my voicemail:
Steve the Lawyer: "... and so I think that to preserve your position we should issue..."
Me: "uh huh"
Flatmate (in hysteria): "Oh my god, oh my god I don't know what I'm going to do - its terrible..."
Shit. Fuck. Shit-fuck. What has she done?
Steve: "... will of course involve a considerable amount of work, and we should definitely involve counsel..."
Me "I see. How much will that cost?"
Flatmate: "... no hot water ... So I turned the fucking tap off and then turned it on again, and guess what? Still no hot water..."
Me "Fuck"
Steve: "Sorry? *ahem* Well I suppose the fees could be reduced if we used junior counsel, like Wilkinson..."
Flatmate: "... fucking hot water? What am I supposed to do?! My hair is terrible! It's a fucking emergency! You've got to call me! NOW!"
Me: "Stupid fucking bitch."
Steve: "... *cough*.. well, we could use Davis, but he's not much better."
Today's reason I hate my flatmate: The lazy bitch gets out of bed at 10:30, and rings me at work about the hot water, thereby fucking up my office feng shui and putting me in a shitty mood that was only soothed by my leggy PA bringing me a latte and complimenting my tie.
posted at 13:37
7 Comments:
My roommate knows that I have finals I need to take and that all I've been doing recently is studying and sleeping. Thankfully we're leaving the apartment, After going to sleep at 5 am I was woken up at nine in the morning from a phone call from someone who wants to see the apartment, because she gave them my cell number without my freakin permission. then people keep calling and i'm in the library, can't answer, and won't even be in the apartment for them to come by and see it. WTF????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Well, thank GOD for small favors!
glad that youre back! sorry that youve got a walking disaster for a flatmate tho.
So now you have a lawyer who thinks you're an imbecile simply because you haven't the sense to make two different phone calls at different times. Well done. Looks like you don't need your flatmate to mess your life up after all; you're perfeclty suited to doing so yourself.
Congratulations.
Whereas I just can't type...
Ugh, you're lechy.
Also, it appears you have suddenly moved back in with the flatmate you despise having previously said you'd moved out.....
Plus you're writing style seems to have altered dramatically in the process.
Please, someone explain this to me???
Oh. I just read the next post. Nevermind...ish. I am upset you've turned out to be male. But I guess there's not too much you can do about that.
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