Schadenfreude
The exigencies of my present employment mean that for the next little while at least I will be on secondment in another city 3 or 4 days a week. Thankfully I am provided with the luxury of solitude, amongst all the others, in my hotel accomodation. I can have smoked haddock with poached duck eggs brought to my room for breakfast if I like (I don't even need to ask for the tobasco - it is already there). I can tell reception: "No calls please, but can you send up a godfather, or two?" (A godfather is a wonderful thing... One part amaretto, two parts good whisky over ice and some gomme). Life is pretty bloody good when I'm away. It also reduces my contact with The Flatmate to a few days a week.
This doesn't stop me worrying about what The Flatmate is doing while I'm away. I have to confess that my chief concern is that she is getting drunk and inviting a parade of debauched visitors to come and thieve my things and fornicate on my lounge and ejaculate into my curtains. But this may simply be unfounded paranoia. Certainly, sniffing my curtains each time I get back will be seen as a sign of mental weakness.
So when the phone rang today and I saw it was her my immediate reaction was to howl in preparation for some new fiasco. Our conversation went a bit like this:
Me: "Hello, Paula..." *gulp*
The Flatmate: "Mmmphh garp phphtttt..."
Me: "Oh... I see..."
The Flatmate: "ffffclucking dethtitht!!!"
Me: "Deth-thitht? Dentist?"
The Flatmate: "Yeth! Phphpttt garg bloop thutht impacted blarg choop phtpht wisdom teeth extraction."
What glee. O happy days. In the immortal words of Trey Parker: "Fuck Yeah!"
This doesn't stop me worrying about what The Flatmate is doing while I'm away. I have to confess that my chief concern is that she is getting drunk and inviting a parade of debauched visitors to come and thieve my things and fornicate on my lounge and ejaculate into my curtains. But this may simply be unfounded paranoia. Certainly, sniffing my curtains each time I get back will be seen as a sign of mental weakness.
So when the phone rang today and I saw it was her my immediate reaction was to howl in preparation for some new fiasco. Our conversation went a bit like this:
Me: "Hello, Paula..." *gulp*
The Flatmate: "Mmmphh garp phphtttt..."
Me: "Oh... I see..."
The Flatmate: "ffffclucking dethtitht!!!"
Me: "Deth-thitht? Dentist?"
The Flatmate: "Yeth! Phphpttt garg bloop thutht impacted blarg choop phtpht wisdom teeth extraction."
What glee. O happy days. In the immortal words of Trey Parker: "Fuck Yeah!"
posted at 13:37
11 Comments:
Woah, you posted her name even.
So she'll probably run out of that cocaine paste the dentist gives you, commence to drinking herself stupid, and end up with dry sockets! BUHWAAAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
This is sad but funny.
this person is NOT the same as the previous one, who I"m sure was female.
This one is too pretentious. And too detailed.
I had this bookmark since March when the original blogger left hoping for a return and this is what we get? :P poop. deleting it
i agree with motaile
not the same person
Yeah, the blogger's a different guy. Its obvious. Not sure about gender though.
there is an underlying menace in all new posts... that the previous flat-mate doesnt have.
i'm guessing it's a new fella too. somebody who manage to crack the id/psswd ??
I'm so glad you are back I just love Flatmate bashing...thank goodness I live alone.
No posts in nearly a week? Did the bad flatmate suddenly go good?
Well, since there's apparently no other way to contact you, I'll do it here. Some of the graphics I've been doing for my blog follow the general concept of yours (vingatge elements with captions). They only comprise a portion of the artistic things I do there but I thought I should say something - Lemme know if this is a problem? Here's an example - http://superindefinite.blogspot.com/2005/09/not-enough-hours.html
Sorry for the OT comment. We now return you to your regularly scheduled flatmate hating.
I agree. true fans of this blog knows when the author is different. this person gives away too much of himself, too many details, more spite than humour. Obvious from the first post. Writing style is also different. Bummer. I want the old one back!!!!! *wail*
I agree too, this guy isn't the same. Very long-winded, and more spiteful than witty. That's too bad...
She'll probably run out of that cocaine paste the dentist gives you, commence to drinking herself stupid, and end up with dry sockets.
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