I return...
Dear people of the blogosphere, hear me now.
I have been on a long journey. My analyst said I needed to go on a long journey. But that bitch would say anything to get me out of her bedroom closet.
I have been to Australia. I saw Fat Boy Slim on Bondi beach on New Years Eve. I have been to Singapore, and had high tea at Raffles as a drug mule and escaped the death penalty. I have been to India and South Africa. I have shared my last taste of the true black meat; the flesh of the giant, aquatic, Brazilian centipede.
I have not exerted one axon in the contemplation of this blog or The Flatmate.
I am happy.
But tomorrow I get on a plane home and some time next week I will walk back into the Habitat...
I have heard nothing from her. I have no idea what awaits. Was it not George Bush who said:
I have been on a long journey. My analyst said I needed to go on a long journey. But that bitch would say anything to get me out of her bedroom closet.
I have been to Australia. I saw Fat Boy Slim on Bondi beach on New Years Eve. I have been to Singapore, and had high tea at Raffles as a drug mule and escaped the death penalty. I have been to India and South Africa. I have shared my last taste of the true black meat; the flesh of the giant, aquatic, Brazilian centipede.
I have not exerted one axon in the contemplation of this blog or The Flatmate.
I am happy.
But tomorrow I get on a plane home and some time next week I will walk back into the Habitat...
I have heard nothing from her. I have no idea what awaits. Was it not George Bush who said:
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Flatmate, dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the psychopath...
posted at 13:37
30 Comments:
Cross your fingers and hope she hasnt done one with all your worldly possessions...
Dude - when you buckle up on your flight, just remember the inevitable anticipation of impending disaster will grow as you get closer to home.
Can't wait to hear how you find the Habitat when you return.
Yeah! Your'e back!What has the scum done? tell me, tell me!
You went to Oz but you didn't come to New Zealand? How could you?
welcome back!!!!
wow, i thought this blog was finished, but great news that we can read some more stories of your flatmate from hell.
good luck living back at the habitat!
hey hey. hope you had a grrrrreat time in singapore. wooohoo. can't wait for the next post!
I LOVE YOU. Your back, this has been a long harboured dream of mine, and I'm a top 20 commenter. Its good to have you back my friend. I had a black week when you went away.
Well update will you? And visit my blog please.
Aww~
You came Singapore!
Sweet!
Hmmmmmm - so you returned home to South Africa I see. Bless. How's the Eastern Cape doing?
Why don't you just kick her out, you dumbass! Better yet, why don't you leave? Hey, here's an idea - you can call this blog "I'm a dumbass because all I do is bitch about my flatmate"
Welcome BACK!!!
Great to have you back!
Can't wait for your next post!
-skaur
Welcome back. I like your pictures as much, if not better, than your writings.
Could it be that you are the bad roomate? From reading your posts, you sound like a real self-centered ass.
Anonymous said...
Welcome back. I like your pictures as much, if not better, than your writings.
....very poot grammer. Can you spot the mistake?
You make me laugh. Welcome back.
Oy! Did the sock og retunrning kill you? want to be entertained!
roommates really do suck, check out how much I hate my roommate http://www.apblue.com
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The deletion was me. My comment was very poorly worded!
Glad you're back - I find your blog *very* entertaining.
Hi Guys! I love this blog, and check it every day for updates on the Goss on the Flatmate from Hell II. Well, my own blog is about relationships in sunny Perth, WEstern Australia. Pop by sometime... http://eragwyn.blogspot.com/ ...and tell me what you think!
By the way "I hate my flatmate" I love your thinking, and conclude you are a very smart character. Have you come up with any solutions yet?
PS: I have a very deep excavation they are due to fill in any day out the back of my place - interested in dumping a body anytime soon?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Listen, I don't know what's taking you so long to get back home. Maybe you made a pit stop in Thailand or something. But it's been weeks and we wanna know what's happening. Or not.
I've been inspired to start a new blog. I've named it Shut The Fuq Up.
Shameless advertising, I know. But I want you to visit. I'm tagging you to share on of your best Shut The Fuq Up moments so I can post it on my blog. Help me get the ball rolling.
The idea is anyone, everyone can send their Shut-The-Fuq-Up Moments (either in comments or via email) and I will post them on Shut The Fuq Up. The link is http://shutthefuqup.blogspot.com/
Hope you've made it home safely and will post the latest terrors soon.
Well its been almost a month since the 18th of Jan and we've heard nothing.
One of the longer gaps in this blog, though i haven't checked back over it all.
I think that during your absence, the landlord and maybe his assistant too,
made a visit unanounced in order to see how the recent promises of sorting out
the state of his property were coming along.
It is possible that the domestic conditions in the habitat had worsened without
your moderating influence and may have been quite bad.
Maybe the landlord has cleared out the habitat completely, after taking photos,
and maybe advice from friends, and had the place thoroughly de-loused.
Maybe you have returned to find your remaining possesions (and your flat-mate's)
held against payment for the industrial clearing and cleaning of the habitat.
Maybe also some re-painting too. And nowhere to live.
This might explain your absence.
I think you mentioned somewhere that your landlord was Greek ... ?
my experience of Greek landlords is that they don't mess around with patience.
Quite a lot of landlords seem to be Greek, i live in England and i know people
with Greek landlords. Maybe its the same all over the world.
I hope you don't find yourself on some 'unwelcome' list for landlords.
Some lodgers have left people with their address blacklisted for debt.
I hope nothing untoward has happened to you,
and that we will hear from you soon.
John :)
Wonder what could be keeping you from posting - have you killed your flatmate already??
you went to singapore?
i'm honoured as a singaporean haha.
hey, i found a pic on this blog is so cute.it's a baby pic crying.may i take that pic, if u dont mind? pls let me know
love,
N xxx
I am glad that ur back (or on the way) to the habitat, and we readers are going to get some wonderful bitching updates of your flatmate.
I have shared my last taste of the true black meat; the flesh of the giant, aquatic, Brazilian centipede.
Totally agree that when the blast of war blows in our ears,then imitate the action of the psychopath.
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